Ah that Pregnancy "glow"

First of all, the only thing I ever want to eat anymore is Dairy Gold chocolate milk.   Then, I have to pee a million times in the night, but the only way I can get out of bed is by rolling over and falling out.

I have never been defeated by a smell until yesterday.  The doctor asks me to perform a test on a patient, and I try walking into the room, and can't even get past the door frame.  I had to ask someone else to do it because it is considered bad form to barf on a patient.

And Tristan will randomly wake me up in the night with a karate kick to the bladder, or a head butt to my liver, or a pile drive to my spleen.  Silly thing really needs to turn over.....

And I'm completely brilliant all the time.....which really means I'm a complete idiot and you can say something to me and two seconds later I'll have forgotten.  My favorite was when Nick took the car for the day, and wasn't feeling well so went home to take a nap.  i texted and asked him to bring me something to eat, and he said he was sick.  So I texted back and said "don't worry, I'll go to the store so you don't have to."  Then I get a reply, "how are you going to do that?  I have the car?"  And funny enough,,,,,,two weeks later, I did the same thing again.  How do you forget you don't have your car??

Then there's the mornings when I wake up and my legs are completely cramped up to heck and I can't move and want to cry.  Or the trying to bend over to pull my socks up.......tie my shoe.....pick up trash.......even when I'm at work and I try to reach for something in a cupboard and realize, dangit!  My belly keeps getting in the way!  Ever tried shaving your legs while leaning over a bowling ball?  Sure doesn't work.  Tights are my new best friend on Sundays.  Thick, Black, Tights.  Which of course I"d had to modify to fit the bowling ball.......meaning I cut the front in half.  Sorry, I couldn't justify 18 bucks for a "pregnancy" pair.

It's kinda cute when patients stare at me while I'm getting their blood pressure, debating whether or not to comment on my belly because they can't tell if i'm just a little fatter or if i'm really pregnant.  It's hard to tell in scrubs.  If they are brave enough they will say, are you expecting?  Or, how far along are you?  Then there's the look of relief when I say yes and they realize they haven't just said, dang lady, you've got a beer gut.  Maybe I should act totally surprised and offended next time someone says anything, hahaha.  There was the one lady who said she couldn't tell by my belly, but I just looked pregnant.  And I asked her what she meant, and she told me she could tell in my face.  Great, I went around the rest of the day self conscious about my cheeks.

Ah well, two more months, right?