A little venting

Sad day

I finally got a picture of Tristan smiling.  I mean really smiling!  And when I was trying to download it, my camera fell off the desk and disconnected, ruining almost all the pictures I had on my memory card.  Then the computer wouldn't recognize my camera  until I deleted all the corrupted files off the camera.  It was super stinky.

I've decided.  I used to be all feminist and wanting to work and not stay home…….but after having my little guy, all I want to do is be with him.  Even though I can hardly get anything done around the house while he is awake!  He's a very needy little baby.  But so dang cute!  I wish I could show you the smily picture…..oh well, I'll just have to be stealthy and get another one.  But really, your priorities change when have a baby.  And it's so hard to work and be breast feeding.  I have to take almost half an hour every 3 hours to pump while I'm at work…..really starts to cut into your pay……that and I feel silly having to ask people to cover for me.  It's like, asking someone to cover while you go to the bathroom because you know you are going to be awhile….do I really have to tell everyone about my pumping???  I'm not embarrassed to be breastfeeding, just it's kind of a personal thing.  Excuse me while I go relieve myself of my mucosal secretions……ah well.  The joys of being a working mom.  I can't wait till Nick can work and I can stay home.  Unfortunately, in today's world, you have to be independently wealthy to do something like that.  Or not mind living in poverty.  Don't think I could hack it.

That and I live in a pigsty.  Tristan and work take up so much of my time, I've started to neglect the necessities of life….like clean clothes and dishes, and a good home cooked meal.  My sink smells putrid and even Nick has started drinking Boosts.  It's rather pathetic.  I need to learn to prioritize…  and function on little to no sleep.  If Tristan gets me up to eat more than once a night, I end up sleeping in till an hour before I go to work.  And last night, he decided he was hungry at 2, 4 and 7.  I really wish he'd do the sleeping 6 hours thing more often.

On the bright side, we went to physical therapy today and his therapist said he is doing well.  His little head is still a tiny bit misshapen, and he still favors his left side.  But he is improving.  Especially now that he is starting to interact more.  He pays attention to lights, sounds, moving toys and things.  And he giggles and coos back and for with me and Nick, it's really cute.  He was kind and sat in his bouncer tonight long enough for me to clean up his room, wash some dishes and make dinner.  I felt so accomplished.