I've had an "apostrophe"

Once upon a time, my life was simple.  All I had to worry about was myself……I've started to realize that things tend to get complicated with age.  I've become well acquainted with heavy responsibility, financial hardship, death, balancing family and work, seeing my siblings go through devastating illnesses and going off to war, seeing my parents age, being overwhelmed with a new baby.  I remember when stress was "oh my gosh, there's a zit on my chin!"

But still, growing up has its rewards.  I get to be married to my husband, whom I have loved for years.  I get to have a beautiful baby boy who has filled my life with such joy I can't even express.  I'm able to have meaningful conversations and interactions with my siblings who are older than me.  I can see the sacrifices my parents made to help get me where I am and appreciate it.  And I can own furry pets and no one can stop me.

Then I look at Tristan, and realize, in 6 years when he is starting school, I am going to be 30.  What changes are going to happen in my life and the lives of my family in that time?  Where will I be?  What will I be interested in?

Last year, a lot of my family members passed away, and it occurred to me that I had been being selfish.  I wanted to put off having children because I wanted Nick and I to have alone time.  We needed the time to just be together and grow together right?  I mean, I wouldn't change how it happened, we did learn a lot about each other, and I think we were pretty well prepared to add to our family.  But how much time have I taken from Tristan to be with his grandparents?  Aunts, uncles, cousins?

I'm not trying to sound pessimistic.  Rather, I've realized just how precious every moment is.  I love my life, I love my family.  I wish I got to see them more often than I do.  I've discovered there is more than just clothes and movies to make me happy.  And there are more important things than how much time I spend on my hair and makeup.

What makes life meaningful isn't what we own or how much money we make, but the relationships we foster, the service we render, the love we share.